When I think about Pam, I realise she has been part of my life for such a long time.
I first knew her through Montessori in the 1990s. I remember travelling to Dunedin to spend time in her primary class at Arthur Street School, staying with Pam and Brett out on the peninsula, and walking up the hill. Over the years, our paths continued to cross at Montessori gatherings and professional events. Pam was so gracious about accepting the challenge of writing for Montessori News and sharing her wonderful wisdom. She had such a special—and delicious—way of saying things that somehow made you realise you understood more than you thought you did.
In more recent years, when I was living in Wellington, Rob and I visited Pam and Brett several times at Te Horo for lunch. Those were very special occasions, full of interesting conversations. Pam brought such curiosity and generosity of thought and intellect to everything. I remember the particular look that would come over her face when she said, “Oh, I want to come back to this”—and she always did. She listened, reflected and followed through.
When Rob had terminal cancer a couple of years ago, Pam was there at the end of a text or an occasional phone call. She had an extraordinary ability to reflect the joy of life back to me and to make me feel that perhaps I was managing better than I thought I was. She was a great sharer of joy and love. I found it so comforting when Pam said she was lighting a candle for us. It made me feel that we were truly held in her thoughts.
In recent years, she had become one of those people I wanted to tell when something momentous happened. In the final weeks of her life, we were in touch, and she wrote to me, “Thanks for a life of wonderful role-modelling and much more.” Her words surprised me, because I had never imagined that I might have been a role model for Pam. Perhaps, in some way, I had been. But she had certainly been a role model for me for a very long time.
Pam will be missed by so many. Although she was only an occasional presence in my day-to-day life, she was a deeply significant one, and I feel her loss profoundly.
My love and thoughts are with all those who were closest to her, and particularly with you, Brett. You and Pam were such wonderful companions in life. She leaves behind so many precious memories, but I know that you will be feeling her absence more deeply than anyone.
Moe mai rā, e Pam, i runga i te rangimārie.
